Same Genes, Different Kids
I’m often surprised by the difference between my two sons.
My seven year old is calm, quiet, and introspective. My four year old is excitable, talkative and social.
My seven year old usually listens to his parents and does what he is asked without too much coaxing. My four year old ignores, procrastinates, and requires help staying on task.
My seven year old is empathic, seems to understand his impact on other people’s feelings, and uses this understanding to when making decisions. My four year old has exhibited the capacity to comprehend other people’s feelings, but he frequently fails to do so, or chooses not to.
Our reactions to their respective behaviors are different. With both we use positive and negative reinforcement (carrot and stick). With my seven year old, we use a big carrot and a small stick. With my four year old, we do the opposite.
On the other hand, my four year old is assertive and will stand up for himself. When he’s convinced that he’s right, he will not hear otherwise. My seven year old will let himself get pushed around to some degree before he fights back.
While my four year old is very mercurial, crying one moment, laughing the next, he can “go deep†when he’s interested in something, focusing for an hour or more at a time, to the exclusion of anything else.
Despite their differences, the boys get along quite well. Fighting is fairly rare in our house. Their personalities will suit them well for various roles in society, but their respective roles are likely to be quite different.